also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
