No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
