is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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