apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize