Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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