im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
