Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
