You're completely useless in the revolution.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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