It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
