And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
