we have pet lesbian snakes
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize