i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
