His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
