just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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