Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
