I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Shame - the story of my life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
