he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
