...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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