Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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