Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
