you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
