Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
