my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
