omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Help. Why am I so naked?
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