I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
soo... how was my night?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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