ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize