Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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