it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
