either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize