I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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