Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize