So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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