After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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