I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
