belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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