I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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