I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
