It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
