Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize