why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
