the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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