ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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