He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Randomize
