come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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