I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
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he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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