I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
