I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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