I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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