ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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