I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
