How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i came on her dog
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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