dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i think i just lost a toe
He did a backflip because drugs
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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