We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
