nut hugger
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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