i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
