Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
