Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
