we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
