Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
