I love black thongs
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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