the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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