I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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