you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i will never coherently bang her
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
