Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
