Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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