check it out our google latitudes are spooning
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
